Babble: 1. v.i. to chatter idly or continuously
| to murmur | v.t. to utter confused or incoherehtly 2. n.
indistinct or confused speech | idle talk | a continuous murmer.New Webster's Dictionary of the English Language
When I used to see someone using a cell phone, I always assumed that the call had to do with something really important - a real estate agent closing a multi-million dollar deal, some attorney scrambling for a last minute appeal, or drug dealer checking on the latest market prices. I'd say to myself, "That's somebody really important!" This image has quickly faded as I notice the current crop of cell phone addicts, covering just about every walk of life. Even Ethel, who lives in a singlewide down the street, carries her cell phone to the dollar store and the local bowling alley.
Many of these people seem to have this driving need to call or talk to someone on their cell phones, even if they have absolutely nothing to say. We were traveling back from a long weekend the other day and stopped at a Denny's for lunch. As our meal arrives, this guy is seated at the table in front of us. In less than ten seconds, he has his cell phone out and starts dialing numbers. Apparently there was no answer on the first call he tried, so he thinks about it for a minute and tries another number. No answer there and tries another, repeating this performance all the way through our meal. We paid the check and were heading back to the car, but alas, he still hadn't found anyone to talk to. Oh, almost forgot ... we did see Ethel in one of the booths in the back. She was having a much better day than the guy in front of us, chatting up a storm on her cell phone, in between bites of her Grand Slam breakfast.
The trend is disturbing, because I just can't figure out what is so damn important that these folks have to make and receive calls everywhere they go. I don't usually jump on the conspiracy bandwagon, but I'm beginning to suspect that something very evil is afoot. Could this be high-tech control of the masses? Alien invasion? Not sure, but here's what I witnessed the other day:
I was at the local airport, waiting for my daughter's flight to come in. It was running a few minutes late, so I sat down in the gate area. A few minutes later this guy sits down in the group of chairs next to me. He looks like the standard business type, and pulls out a cell phone. Nothing unusual there ... I figure a last minute call to the office. He dials a number and apparently there is no answer. He dials another and the same thing. This guy then dials five more times and still no answer. I notice his eyes are starting to glass over and he starts twitching. He then dials one more time and places the phone to his ear. He sat there for about ten minutes with the cell phone to his ear and the weird part - never said a thing. Now I don't know if anybody answered, or if he was just letting it ring, but the longer he sat with the phone to his ear, the more relaxed he got. My daughter's flight arrived and as I was getting up to leave, I noticed that this guy had a big grin on his face. He still hadn't said a word into the phone. Maybe he was just calling one of those 900 sex-lines and having the company foot the bill. Who knows?
I really have to be honest and admit that I have cell phone. They are sure convenient. Not really sure what all the little buttons do ... the battery always runs out while talking and I never seem to be in range for a call ...but it sure comes in handy. I think I use it about two, maybe three times a month. The usual conversation consists of:
RING ... static ... RINGOk, so I don't use it to close multi-million dollar real estate deals!
WIFE: Hello
ME: Hi ... need me to get anything on the way home?
WIFE: What? Didn't get all that.
ME: I'm coming home ... need anything?
WIFE: No. I'm going (static) later.
ME: What? You broke up.
WIFE: No.
ME: OK ... love you
WIFE: Love you, too.
