After months of intensive research, The Comedy Zone staff is proud to present ....

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GHOST POOPIE:

You feel it come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet!

CLEAN POOPIE:

The poopie comes out and you see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper! Also see UPPER-CLASS POOPIE.

WET POOPIE:

Even after wiping your butt 50 times, it still feels unwiped. You end up putting some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you don't get a nasty poopie stain.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE:

Happens when you stand up after poopie-ing and start to pull your pants up. You suddenly realize that you have to poopie some more.

"POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD" POOPIE:

A poopie that causes you to strain so much, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE:

The poopie is so big, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE:

So noisy, everyone within earshot starts giggling.

DRINKER POOPIE:

Occurs after a long night of drinking. Most noticeable trait is the skidmarks in the toilet bowl.

CORN POOPIE:

Self explanatory.

NUT POOPIE:

Self explanatory.

"GEE, I WISH I COULD POOPIE" POOPIE:

You'd really like to poopie, but all you do is siton the toilet and fart a few times. Refer to WET POOPIE should you take Ex-Lax® to alleviate the problem.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE:

A poopie that hurts so much on the way out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways!

WET CHEEKS POOPIE:

A poopie that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with toilet water. Also referred to as a Power Dump.

LIQUID POOPIE:

Characterized by a yellowish-brown liquid that shoots out your butt andsplashes all over the toilet bowel. Also see MEXICAN POOPIE.

UPPER-CLASS POOPIE:

Leaves no odor and may also have the characteristics of a CLEAN POOPIE.

SURPRISE POOPIE:

You're not near the toilet and think you are just going to fart ... but oops! ... it's a poopie!!

THE DANGLING POOPIE:

A tough poopie that refuses to drop into the toilet, even thoughyou are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose. Also referred to as a Klingon.